Vancouver’s Prettier Side

First day in Vancouver and I love this city!!  Had a great day today…after the games (accompanied by mad brazilians with drums and cowbells and tambourines and shakers), my coworker Davin and I wandered the Vancouverian streets and found these…

untempted we moved on…what were tempting were the lizards on a stick.  Don’t belive me?

In fact, there were some other yummy unknown things all dried up and for sale, squids I think, and eels maybe?

There was also this guy…very tempting if you ask me!

And the bars!!

and this one…

and this one…

and for all of your meat needs (apart from lizards, squids, and eels)

And finally a store closely akin to my own heart with everything ridiculous in it, hanging in the window…can you see them?  out of focus I know, i apologize, but look closely!

You got it, Nietzsche and Ghandi finger puppets…guess who’s coming home with me to LA?  If I can only smuggle him past immigration…

I might post some nice pictures of Vancouver tomorrow!  Most of the city is beautiful, i forgot how much i like flowers and the color green!

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Blame Canada!

Blame Canada!

What a day!!  Ghana wins??  The US and Italy tie with 9 and 10 men on the field??  I LOVE upsets and commotion…

So I’m off to Canada – Vancouver to be exact, that city that I have heard is full of hippies and where the gentle herb wafts through the streets – what San Fran used to be before the hippies became hipsters, the revolution was commercialized, and coffee started selling for 3 dollars and up.  Going to be the summer solstice as well, so I’m hopeful there will be plenty of madness and multiple drum circles…might find time to drift in and out of the World Urban Forum which is the real reason I’m there, but between the world cup and people watching and the clothing optional beach I’m not sure quite how much I’ll have to report on that front!

Since I think packing light is cool and am unorganized therefore pack at the last minute, I am sure to be missing some key items, I wonder what they will be?

Fuck it dude, let’s go bowling

Ah fuck it, Dude, let’s go bowling

That’s what I felt like doing at nine this evening when I was still in a meeting at work, if the Dude had been there he would have agreed.  People are talkers man, I’m not.  In discussions I make short comments right to the point when needed, and humorous comments wherever possible, and if there’s too much of nothing being said it makes me crazy.  I do write a lot, I admit, but you can just stop reading and not insult me, rather than having to wait for that deep breath long enough to edge a word in.  Some people never seem to breathe, it’s astonishing how long they can go for without coming up for air and giving you a shot at escape.

But back to bowling, I did go bowling this saturday. It is a thing I do once a year to raise money for my amazing non-profit organization SAJE (Strategic Actions for a Just Economy), and I love it when I go, though I am truly terrible.  I was even playing in the bumper lane having a six year old on my team…she beat me needless to say, though she could hardly pick up the ball, and sent it spinning down the lane with the force of a whisper.  Still, I looked in perfect form!

Jose Esquivel took this picture and it’s awesome.  I’m keeping it for later when I’m telling lies in my old age…Look at the ball!  And the classic kitchy bowling alley!  And i’m just about to do that little kick to finish it off with flare, you can tell.

Favorite commentator quote of the day – “Ah, the Polish beauty!  Smile my love, the match is starting…Thank you!

Pull it together boys!

England!  Christ!  They look like shit!!  They’re like my TV when it goes all wavy and wobbly and a bit off…they just need a good smack to set em right.  Except for Terry, I could’ve kissed him.

Crouch has been nicknamed Mr. Roboto by the Spanish press.  That and Yorke squirting water down his shorts after the small accident are keeping me from breaking things.

oooh…Rooney’s on!

Goal!!  Mr. Roboto, I have almost forgiven you!  Goal! England finally looking like they’re playing in the world cup!  Goal!  But no…We win!  Trinidad and Tobago I salute you!

Sex, popsicles, and copa mundial!

So first, there is nothing better than a popsicle de limon after a bike ride on a hot day…the best part is they turn your tongue green, there are certainly not enough foods in this world can do that

Just look how happy it made my mouth.  I tried cropping this so it was just my mouth – a nod to the Stones you know – but as a close up it was just gross.  Lime fresh and nicely chilled, though, for those who’d like to kiss me.  Sadly, I do not have the lips of Mick Jagger, but I do think mine are just as nice in their own special way.

Second, Copa Mundial!  What a day!!  Even though I had picked Japan to win and they made me mad as hell, those three Aussie goals did make my day adrenalintastic, the Czechs looked good – except I wish they could try a little harder NOT to be be offsides all the damn time – and Koller!  I’m sacrificing a goat and a bottle of the best rum for you, get better!  I survived working right through the third match which I will watch later this evening with immense pleasure.  It is suddenly a joy to wake at 5:45 am…but will this month permanently change my internal clock?  I woke up this morning before the alarm – a minor miracle!  If I suddenly become a “morning” person, will I still be the same me?  What an existential dilemma!  Stay tuned for developments.

Lastly, I took a little trip through my junk mail folder this afternoon to make sure there was nothing in there I wanted and wow!  There seems to be a lot of demand for magic pills that make you skinnier, and therefore get more sex…and I guess if they don’t work, you have to go for the magic pills that give you amazing and frighteningly long-lasting sex, and to ensure you are having sex you invest in the multiple dating services for BIG dates.  If you don’t need sex, or alternatively need a little additional guilt over sex, you can join the Christian dating service (and christians, I’m joking! I know we really just need to have sex to procreate, don’t worry!).  If none of these are your style, you are invited to watch other people having sex.  As a last resort, there seem to be a large number of people in foreign countries desparately seeking Americans to enter into complicated cash transactions which will make you rich (they have clearly picked up on the fact that we are not the brightest people on the planet), and then you can buy sex.  We seem to be a trifle single minded as a nation…glad to know I’m not alone!!

Opening Ceremonies

Opening Ceremonies

I want to be in Munich!! This is possibly the craziest thing I have ever seen…woke groggily up in the middle i think – helps keep it surreal which I can only suppose was the effect aimed for, also the only station showing the uninterrupted version is entirely in Korean so I have no idea really what the fuck’s going on except what I can see and that makes no sense…so many men with leiderhosen!! Not that I mind a man in socks up to the knee and leather shorts!  And were they cracking whips – what were those things?  And those boxy metal things they were hitting on their knees later on?  It looked like they were…well, you know, I know you thought it too…And the crazed models…why is everyone wearing such crazy things on their head…And wait a minute, that’s not grass!!  It’s plastic and there it goes and…red grass?  Oh, not grass either.  Breakdancers!  Wow!  Now they’re showing over and over some contraption with flowers and with what looks like some kind of effigy hanging by the neck…And the women brought out like wedding cakes – they’re STILL hanging somehow above the crowd.  Good thing they kept the speeches short…ahh, the leiderhosen are back!  Ooh, and flags!  Ooh, and inspirational music in English!  I’m clebrating the day!  Nice to see Pele again!

How am i supposed to go to work, and when will i find time to shower??

My heart is breaking…I WANT TO BE THERE

I went in to work early this morning…have been wasting a lot of time at work and been generally unmotivated – results inevitable but not pretty.  Sadly I forgot my keys and my coworkers arrived in their own sweet time damn them.  I thought about going in front and watching the action in front of the methadone clinic but I decided I loved life too much for that, so I spent some time sat out in back, playing with the digital camera and resting my feet like so…

I like my feet, though faulty genes gave me joints that are going to need some work later in life – see how my big toes scrunch inwards?  That’s no good…still, they enjoyed the downtime.  I actually got a nap in this afternoon as well, when 6 of us piled into Bobby’s old bronco to head to a meeting and I got to lie down in the back, it was just like old times!  The world looks entirely fantastically different when lying flat on your back (keep it clean children!), downtown is much more impressive when staring up. All I needed to complete the day were some cookies and a nice glass of milk after my nap, sadly, adults don’t seem to be appreciated as much as five year olds.  Nor can they climb trees or fly kites without some comment.  So i’m going to ask God, or the Devil, if they could reverse time in my case and send me backwards, as soon as the world cup is over!  As it is, can hardly wait for tomorrow!

Pick Up lines

Holy mary mother of god, it is fucking hot!!  Took a little walk this morning to the metro to go to Hollywood/Vine farmer’s market, and met a nice cholo named Tony…as he passed me he looked me up and down (no better way to make me mad), turned around and walked with me a block or two…he said hey girl, (in the best rico suave homeboy style) what’s up, looking for a party?  I think I heard that right but am not sure because I still had my i-pod on to protect me from strangers (didn’t work with this guy…he was persistent).  Still, Sunday morning?

No.
Can you hear me?
Noncommittal shrug. (I was still hoping he’d take the hint…boys, if a girl doesn’t take out her headphones when you talk to her on the street, you’re not going to get her number)
You like to smoke weed?
No.
Never?
Never.
Come on girl, why not, did you quit or something?
I quit, it did nothing for me.
What??  Nuh-uh. You like chrystal?
Hell no.
Do you like to drink?
No, I never drink. (though I do hate to lie on a Sunday)
Where you going?
The metro, and here we are.
Don’t you want my number?
No thanks, I’m married and have lots of kids (The second lie is always easier).  Take care now.

A brief moment where i feared he was going to get on the train…i thought about trying to convert him to mormonism if he continued, but luckily, he accepted defeat…while admiring his courage, i have spent some time this afternoon staring into the mirror trying to figure out what gave away my tendency to spend wild and crazy Sunday mornings tweaked out with a joint in one hand, chrystal in the other, and a forty clutched between my knees…I’m really really hoping it was just wishful thinking on his part and my long legs…

I mean, do I look like a stoned meth fiend??

I know, I know, my room is a dead give away but I swear I’m cleaning it…

Apple Valley

Just got back from a little staff retreat at Highland Springs in Apple Valley…how much do I love the people I work with??  Thursday late morning we drove up and did a lot of work, then we swam, lay by the pool, relaxed in the sauna, ate a dinner we didn’t have to cook, played a little soccer, drank beers and margaritas and told a lot of very funny and very innapropriate stories (which I cannot relate here in mixed company) until really late.

I got up early in spite of the late night, the fact that I was still a little drunk probably helped with that, and went for a hike, it is such a beautiful place!  The path initially went straight up…here is one of the views:

And I believe this is what I would look like if I could ever find the courage to get up onto a pair of stilts…

Walked and ran back down, had breakfast, did some more work, swam, laid by the pool, relaxed in the sauna…mmm….lovely.

We had seen the signs for a cherry festival in Beaumont, so we decided to stop on the way back home and pick up some cherries, and some pies, and some funnel cake and who knew what else?  There was a little carnival but the first thing that met our eyes was this shining example of carnie culture…

And guess who else was there?

Yep…God.  We were pretty excited until we found out that not only was it $5 to get in, but that with all of our crazy weather, and possibly global warming, there were in fact no cherries.  Although tempted to pay $5 just to ask God how he could allow a tragedy like this to happen and possibly hit him in the eye, I sadly piled back into the car and Bev drove off.  At the edge of Beaumont we passed El Rancho restaurant and cocktails,

But  no one else was feeling the same uncontrollable urge to stop there and fill up on MGD so we continued on, back to home sweet home…

Disgusting que no?  Just imagine what the inside of my lungs looks like breathing in all of this crap!  Everytime I come back to LA I ask myself, why oh why do I live here?  Soon, soon I’ll be gone.  That little white flash of light middle left is Gehry’s Disney Hall by the way, isn’t it shiny?  I live about 10 blocks from there, in the heart of the smoggy darkness…

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Death

I just found out that one of the old women I used to work with died.  She died on Thursday and they didn’t find her until Sunday, and she was one of my favorite tenants in that building.  We have this video of her talking about all the problems they had with management, Property Management Associates the bastards, harassing and threatening elderly ladies.  Not that you could threaten her.

My favorite part of the video is where she’s talking about the fact that the manager won’t give the tenants the key to the back gate. She was a kindly, grandmotherly old African American woman, and she loved her wrestling. But when she got mad…damn! She said something like…if there was a fire, do you think I could get my black ass over that fence?  Hell no!

We finally won the keys to the back fence two weeks ago. It only took us two years.  I’m worried about the other ladies though, they’ve all been living there friends together upwards of 20 years.  They’re saying death is in the air…I suppose I’m still young enough and far enough away from death, I can’t feel it the way they can…

Just communities, just cities, Just connections between country and city. Also, the weird and wonderful.